OOOSDC

[dicky]

Ok, get your reading glasses you old farts.

The Old Out Of Shape Drunks Club is about to kick off (or shamble off).
Not sure who gets to be member number one.
Triton, for kicking off the discussion
Taz, for making the first mention of OOSDC
bobtrx, for his training regime insights

For now I'll hand them out in the order above, you can fight it out among yourselves.
JohnM can be 4, I'll be 5.

Any young whippersnappers want to join?
You must be over 40, or at least feel like you are over 40 when you wake up WITHOUT a hangover.
You must be able to talk about what you did when you were a younger motorcyclist, but not actually be able to remember the details, leaving everyone wondering what you are babbling on about.
You must have at least one suitably impressive exploit, preferably involving a TRX850, that you can remember the details. eg 900km in 10 hours on a TRX850, could still walk afterwards. (I only got as far as the bar, then I collapsed)
You must be suitably out of shape. Try this simple test.
Go to the local shopping mall or somewhere that has an escalator.
Run up the down escalator.
How long did it take?
Less than 10 seconds - You are lying, bugger off.
10 to 20 seconds - You are fit, bugger off.
20 to 30 seconds - Need proof, do it again.
More than 30 seconds - You can join.
Didn't make it to the top, gave up - Welcome aboard.
There is no need for a drinking criteria as I figure if you ride a TRX you must be on the turps anyway.

dicky.

[tz250w]

Bahahahaaaaa!!!!

Well, I'm pretty sure I meet the requirements!

Guys, did I ever tell you about that 4hr?

Back in the days of bias ply slicks...

Esalator? You don't want half of us dropping dead from a heart attack, do you!!!???

Funny stuff dicky (funnier if it wasn't so true... )!

[John M]

Very funny dicky, i'll drink to that.
Warning: anecdote ahead.
Happy to be no. 4, reminds me of when i used to watch Thunderbirds. No. 4, good old Gordon (drove the little underwater sub thing) didn't see much action but got to hang out by the pool most of the time and watch Virgil, Scott and co do most of the work. Cool!
OOOSDC's are GO!

[Wombat]

Geez, I meet nearly all of those criteria.
Can I join, as well? I should be able to join by default, just on the basis
of my username, Wombat - "eats, roots and leaves!"

Bob

[dicky]

You're in.
Leave the money on the fridge.

dicky.

[Triton]

Hey dicky, I'm so O,OOS&D that I don't mind what membership number I get! I'm in training right now... Hungry Jacks bacon deluxe with chips and a stubby of Carlton Premium Dry for lunch. TRX exploit? How many do you want? There was the 1996 Two Wheels bike of the year (BOTY) when we wound up, after two days of riding six different bikes, with a draw between the TRX and the ZX-7R Kwak. I voted for the Kwak! (I think. Or was it the Beemer? No, maybe it was the Suzie... oh sh!t, what was I saying?) Bring me another beer Ms T!
Anyway, the TRX won on countback and I bought one...

[Wombat]

I think "Barney Gumble" would be an appropriate mascot.

Bob

[dicky]

How about this

flat_out.jpg

The consequences of riding hard all day on a TRX and then having a beer at your mates place.

[Wombat]

Even better!

Bob

[tz250w]

If that's the result of a half bottle of Dutch horse piss... I'd call for a D.Q.!

[ALBINQLD]

Its registered. It only took 4.5 years. Thanks again Dicky for the heads up the clutch switch.
This OOOSDC sounds like the go, Sign me up. The following tale of woe should qualify me. The day after registering it I woke up late for work, with a head ache (celebratory drinks the night before) checked my phone, found a message saying I was out of credit, thought to self, recharge when I get to work. Got 3 K's down the road, out of fuel. again thought to self, check fuel tap position before a ride as the TRX does not have a gauge like the FJ. couldn't call the leader of the opposition to bring fuel. At least I didn't have to push it home, walked it quick pace, had to change my shirt when I got home, even at 5am it was a hot day. Not a great start to what should have been an enjoyable day.
Otherwise , now loving it. Will post pictures when I work out how to post them. Cheers AL

[M.V.]

I missed this first time round! I'm pretty sure I meet 2 of the 3 requirements, I'll check back in 9 years & see if you'll have me!

[Stu99]

I pass all the listed criteria plus for extra proof I nodded off, Jack Daniels in hand, whilst reading this thread. How better qualified could you get?

[wreckage]

G'day. And Happy Oz day. Don't ever forget the indij.

There would be only one reason that I wouldn't qualify for the Old-Out-Of-Shape-Drunks-Club (OOOSDC), and that would be because I'm now too old and poor to drink as much as I used to.
Mind you, I'm still giving it a soldierly try. I'm enjoying my second, very stiff bourbon as I type. I turned 59 (Condition # 1) in January and my hopefully-qualifying exploit (Condition # 3) will continue after I satisfy Condition 2.

This should do: I rode in the rain and went to bloody Bathurst for the motorbike GP for seven years in a row and all over the joint and got kicked out of NSW with a police escort and fell off and rode while not properly sober and got booked for not being registered and for apparently going 'too fast', etc.. etc. There. I can babble some more. Just ask me.


(Condition 3:

One loverly day while riding around Mount Mee in sunny Queue Ell Dee (mid-late 1970's) with three-or-four mates who were on vastly superior machinery (1000's, etc.) I, on my little RD-400 tuned to within an inch of it's two-stroke life, (as lean as possible. I siezed it twice at 100 MPH.) was about 100 yards behind and screaming (the bike, not me. Yet.) My mind must have wondered - perhaps to ponder the incessant pounding of the dying, hungover brain-cells within my aching skull, or perhaps to just have my consciousness suddenly vacate the premises - I dunno - I completely missed the first left-hander of a nice set of esses. Missed it. fuk'n completely. I went straight ahead (on the downhill side) off the mountain road and into the booosh. At speed. I may have been thirsty.

I can still remember my very first thought. It was along the lines of "as they're all ahead of me, my body may never be found.". Anyways, I plunged downhill into the bleedin' boosh with mental images of fallen trees, rocks, car bodies and fock-knows what being in front of me, and the next thing I remember is going up-hill, still surrounded by lantana and the unforgiving, steel-like trunks of vast, murderous trees the thickness of most politicians, still at a respectable rate of knots.

I'm not sure which board of which brewery was watching over me that day, but I suddenly shot out of the bleedin' jungle about three feet behind my riding buddies who had negotiated the right-hander of the aforementioned esses and were now entering the next lefty. I calmly slotted in behind them as if nothing had happened and went on with the ride.

The thing is, nobody saw it. Nobody knew that my heart-rate was temporarily enough to pump honey through a frickin' hypodermic needle. All I got was a bit of a larf when I told 'em.

4) Could I run up an esclator going in the opposite direction?

No. fuk off. Are you a sadist? Well, if I was being chased by somebody who wanted to really hurt me or steal my beer I may. But then I'd prolly take the 'up' escalator. If I was sober enough.

5) I now ride a TRX and am certifiably insane. ... and I'm now onto my third very stiff bourbon.

Now where's my membership badge?!?!?!?